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The Biological Contract

Rousseau had his “Social Contract” declaring the right of the people to grant authority to govern to their chosen leaders. Then why not recognize the human “Biological Contract” where in the 35 trillion or so living cells that make up the human body (excluding the 35 trillion non-enfranchised bacteria that reside within our body’s borders) have the right to grant rights of governance to their over-the-top communal creation: human consciousness? Consciousness thus has the obligation to govern as best it can for the benefit of the body’s collective well-being. But, all too often, it turns out that human consciousness, in all its glory, is deeply flawed, having the unique but unfortunate capacity to trash the “Biological Contract.” By doing so, consciousness places the body’s “citizens” at risk to suffer general mayhem, or worse, death. All that to satisfy some crazed emotion-driven misadventure.

Here are some egregious examples of human consciousness misbehaving. These are but a handful of the numerous situations that have been documented over the ages.

    1. Gorging on illicitly harvested giant Gowanus Canal oysters (some with three valves) from this super polluted superfund site. Carroll Gardens, Brooklyn, New York
    2. Skiing the treacherously steep slopes of Taos, New Mexico’s famous Ski Valley, while under the influence of three tree martinis. Taos, New Mexico
    3. Tripping on 1960’s Augustus Owsley Stanley’s famous LSD pill, expanding your consciousness’ consciousness, while skipping across the Golden Gate Bridge on a glorious clear day with the frigid Pacific Ocean currents beckoning below. San Francisco, Marin County, California
    4. Bungee jumping from the Victoria Falls Bridge during mating season of the giant river crocodiles on the Zambezi River. Zambia/Zimbabwe
    5. Mistaking a fugu fish diner for chicken, and, worse yet, taking the ceremonial, but also very practical, first bite of the meal, not allowing the head chef to discharge his responsibility of proving the meal non-fatal! Tokyo, Japan
    6. Paying your respects to your Peruvian Shaman with a canceled Amex Platinum card after he traveled all the way to the underworld to straighten out a complicated nagging problem of yours with your loving deceased mother. Cuzco, Peru

On a final note, there is an ironic twist to the Biological Contract. 84% of the body’s 35 trillion cells are red blood cells that live in our veins and arteries, make our blood red, and carry oxygen to all the other cells in the body. These red cells have no nuclei (all other cells do), they can’t reproduce and are essentially without a brain. They should not be allowed to vote!

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